Somehow I Know That There's Much More To Come

(Whisper, Evanescence)

I am so stressed. Everything is going on at once. Masterclass, which I just found out is for guest guy terrifies me... Because I'm not ready at all. I have to do my education essay and I don't even have a topic yet. I have to do my history essay and I have never even heard the piece that I'm writing about before. I have to do my education presentation. I have a skillz dictation coming up, which I am not ready for, mock auds in two weeks, and I'm sure there's something else I am forgetting. Programming assignments every week... I seriously can't handle all of this. I think maybe I might have to drop out of programming. No computer science minor for me. But... I'll tough it out. I'm smart enough for this. I know it. I think low sleep and bad nutrition are just making me cranky.

Besides that... I've been reading a book on and off since the beginning of the school year, and I just don't have the time to get into it... It seems like it would be fascinating, though. It's called This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science Behind a Human Obsession. Thus far it hasn't gotten into the really juicy stuff, but it's about what happens in the brain because of music. Why music has the power to make us all teary and whatnot, and how it affects people. (Remembering my rant about sad songs... I should continue that, come to think of it. It's a good rant.) Honestly, really really interesting. I wish I wasn't drowning in work so that I could read it.

Every Day I Work So Hard...

(Dazed and Confused, Led Zeppelin)

Okay, so I fail at life. And by life I mean music history. I don't get it. I just can't absorb the information. I studied my butt off for a week and a half, and simply could not absorb the information that I needed on the midterm. I sat down, and stared at the questions for a ridiculously long time, and the information just would not come to me. I wonder if that's something to do with learning styles? Some people can't remember numbers and things... I don't remember dates, names... song titles... composers... All in all, I'm in rough shape, in a music history class. It actually makes me really mad. I read the stuff over and over, highlight the text book, rewrite my notes, and I just can't remember the information the next day. It's like my brain just rejects dates and historical events.

I also can't figure out theory... Which is pretty frustrating as well. I'm not as worried about that, because at least I have a few chances, instead of just three gigantic tests of my ability. I definitely have to get on the history essay really early this year, because it looks like it will carry my grade this term. Ew. Well... I guess all I can do is try... and hope there is someone around to kick me in the ass when I slack off.