Okay, so I figured something out today. I have no friends. :P Actually, I won't go that far. I have A friend. One. In this case, however, that does not help. :P When you have a ticket to a comedy thing, which is almost definitely going to be incredibly funny, and totally enjoyable, and all of the people that you offer a free ticket to, that would normally cost $20, and NO ONE will come with, you know you have no friends. (The only friend I was referring to is already going. She doesn't count.) This makes me very depressed. :P
Blah blah blah. I think I'm going to stop posting in this blog... becase it just makes me feel like a shallow idiot with no capacity for thought. :P I say such mindless things here... it's ridiculous, because it's actually what I think about, a lot of the time. That bothers me. I kind of thought that I wasn't an idiot... apparently I'm wrong. See, there is the potential for some serious expansion on the subject, but I'm not going into it, because it's too advanced for my tiny, tiny brain.
Well, what can you do? Now I am talking like an angsty teenager... which is one of my biggest pet peeves. I am NOT an angsty teenager, damnit.
It is what it is.
17.2.05
13.2.05
Wierd...
Okay, so I had a really wierd dream last night. You know, the kind that bothers you a lot the next day, and you think about it in excess? It was really wierd... and kind of disturbing. So, apparently me and a bunch of other people were involves in some kind of conspiracy, and we were in a garage of some kind, doing something involved with the conspiracy, though it looked like we were all just sitting around. :P (I should mention that for some reason I was a guy in this dream.)
At that point, some people came near the building, and were about to walk in the door, so me and a couple others thought we should try and get under cover, so we ran behind a couch. (There were a couple of couches.) The other people, (leaders of some kind,) didn't move, so we trusted their judgment, and stood up and waited. When they didn't do anything, we bolted for the back door. (Which wouldn't have helped, because it led inside the main building.) But despite the running, somehow at least some of us were caught.
I don't remember what happened between there and the next part, if there was anything, but me and some girl that was apparently someone I cared about, were in a room, secured to devices of a nature unknown to me. There was a woman there, and she was intent on killing us both in totally ridiculous manners, for whatever reason. She hit some button, and the girl was slowly cut in half. (I don't know.) There was a lot of screaming from her, and crying from me, and I assume she died. Then the crazy woman put something in my hand and told me to keep my thumb on a specific point, so I did. (I wanted to die at this point, because person had died, etc.) She said something about sending an electric current through my spine, affecting my brain somehow or another. (I'm pretty sure what she said wouldn't have worked in reality.) She turned the electric current on, and I sat there, not being in any pain, (it's almost impossible to feel pain in a dream.) but not dying either. She turned it off, and it had apparently done something to my brain, because I had either totally lost my mind, or had become an idiot. I spent the entire rest of the dream trying to make the machine work, so that I could die, only I had the vocabulary and mental capacity of a two year old. The woman spoke to me the whole time as if I were a small child, and kept preventing me from making the thing work.
Do you see how that would be unsettling? I don't think I've ever had a dream that totally focused on me wanting to die... Actually I have. But it was not as wierd.
So that's my random thing of the day... it was crazy, and I didn't get it. It's a wierd thing to put in a blog, but it's what I've been thinking about all day, so :P!
At that point, some people came near the building, and were about to walk in the door, so me and a couple others thought we should try and get under cover, so we ran behind a couch. (There were a couple of couches.) The other people, (leaders of some kind,) didn't move, so we trusted their judgment, and stood up and waited. When they didn't do anything, we bolted for the back door. (Which wouldn't have helped, because it led inside the main building.) But despite the running, somehow at least some of us were caught.
I don't remember what happened between there and the next part, if there was anything, but me and some girl that was apparently someone I cared about, were in a room, secured to devices of a nature unknown to me. There was a woman there, and she was intent on killing us both in totally ridiculous manners, for whatever reason. She hit some button, and the girl was slowly cut in half. (I don't know.) There was a lot of screaming from her, and crying from me, and I assume she died. Then the crazy woman put something in my hand and told me to keep my thumb on a specific point, so I did. (I wanted to die at this point, because person had died, etc.) She said something about sending an electric current through my spine, affecting my brain somehow or another. (I'm pretty sure what she said wouldn't have worked in reality.) She turned the electric current on, and I sat there, not being in any pain, (it's almost impossible to feel pain in a dream.) but not dying either. She turned it off, and it had apparently done something to my brain, because I had either totally lost my mind, or had become an idiot. I spent the entire rest of the dream trying to make the machine work, so that I could die, only I had the vocabulary and mental capacity of a two year old. The woman spoke to me the whole time as if I were a small child, and kept preventing me from making the thing work.
Do you see how that would be unsettling? I don't think I've ever had a dream that totally focused on me wanting to die... Actually I have. But it was not as wierd.
So that's my random thing of the day... it was crazy, and I didn't get it. It's a wierd thing to put in a blog, but it's what I've been thinking about all day, so :P!
8.2.05
So This is What Having a Life is Like...
So, I've been working full time for two whole days now... and I have to say, I actually kind of like it. I work at Tim's now, and it's a lot less gross and smelly than McDonald's... I don't know what to call myself now. I lack an identity. At least at McDonald's, you can be a McBitch.
Well, that's the exciting news of the week so far. I lead a boring life.
On a side note, I like ice cream.
And read the PTT comics! ...I will link to them someday, if the website ever goes up.
Well, that's the exciting news of the week so far. I lead a boring life.
On a side note, I like ice cream.
And read the PTT comics! ...I will link to them someday, if the website ever goes up.
1.2.05
The First
Okay, so this is my first blog post. I can't say that this is the first one ever, because I have started quite a few before, and just decided that it was a bad idea. But, this time it should remain in use, if I remember. So, I guess I could talk about something here...
Oh, I saw the Phantom of the Opera movie recently, and I loved it. I am a big fan of the music, and the story, and I honestly thought that it would be ruined in the movie, but it was amazing. There were moments of sheer brilliance. I have heard a lot of bad things about it, but I was absolutely stunned. If you are thinking about seeing it, then definitely go for it. It's worth it.
On a totally different note, I am officially done high school now. No more going back. Of course, that is my chance to move on, but I am very sad to leave it all behind. Not just the friends, or the place or the teachers or the classes, but the opportunity to not care about important things. I suppose this is my big step into being "mature." For most it comes at graduation, but that didn't phase me at all. Despite me getting depressed over leaving a piece of me behind, I know it's only another step. There will be more after this one, no doubt. A new stage every day, and all that. It's still hard to believe that high school is over for me. I have to start working now. Paying bills. I know I'm not ready for this yet. I am still very immature, if not in thought, then in action. But, we'll let things unfold as the do, and see what happens. Everything will always work out in the end, for better or for worse.
Oh, I saw the Phantom of the Opera movie recently, and I loved it. I am a big fan of the music, and the story, and I honestly thought that it would be ruined in the movie, but it was amazing. There were moments of sheer brilliance. I have heard a lot of bad things about it, but I was absolutely stunned. If you are thinking about seeing it, then definitely go for it. It's worth it.
On a totally different note, I am officially done high school now. No more going back. Of course, that is my chance to move on, but I am very sad to leave it all behind. Not just the friends, or the place or the teachers or the classes, but the opportunity to not care about important things. I suppose this is my big step into being "mature." For most it comes at graduation, but that didn't phase me at all. Despite me getting depressed over leaving a piece of me behind, I know it's only another step. There will be more after this one, no doubt. A new stage every day, and all that. It's still hard to believe that high school is over for me. I have to start working now. Paying bills. I know I'm not ready for this yet. I am still very immature, if not in thought, then in action. But, we'll let things unfold as the do, and see what happens. Everything will always work out in the end, for better or for worse.
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